The little blobs of weirdness scattered about the Internet amaze me. The other day, I was looking for a certain online magazine, but accidentally typed in the wrong URL. Instead, I wound up on a Japanese web page that appeared to be an advertisement for some sort of hair removal treatment. I figured this out after using Google Translate on the whole page, which produced something that read sometimes like a lost Yoko Ono song, others like the time your random freshman year roommate came home from a party to which you weren't invited and, while still in a Jagerbomb haze, decided it would be a smashing time to try his hand at erotic slam poetry before vomiting on your carpet. The following is a compilation of some of the most oddly poetic and downright strange lines of this translation:
The sea is only reputation and surprise answer to wealth.
Generation of summer delivery.
Assent to heat and diet.
Only fashionable circle and eye line
even in the human and the world
The whitening of wear and judgment of the famous weapon
Inevitability!
think the athletic manly whitening cream
a pack of pants just published
mono awkward scheduled safety.
The obsession in permanent razor from the battery in the bikini
Even idol carefully selected.
popular restaurant in pain
how about a diet oxygen from pubic hair
athletic manly yen cream white beauty I care.
Ladies, get your man what he really wants for Christmas this year: athletic manly yen cream. And while you're at it, treat yourself to a battery-powered bikini (not for use in water).
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